The Barber, The Baker and The Ghost Host
by Little Miss Porcelain
Summary: What would happen if everyone's favorite Barber and baker visited the Haunted mansion? new and odd feelings, mistaken identity's and misunderstandings, that what! Join this house of 999 happy haunts with our new guests of course! R&R!
1. Where it all begins!

DISCLAIMER; Sadly I do not own Sweeney Todd it belongs to Stephen Sondheim and Tim Burton neither do I own The Haunted Mansion it belongs to Walt Disney

Sweeney Todd was sitting on a chair facing the window'' Mr. T? '' Mrs. Lovett said opening the door to the barber shop. ''Hm'' was the barber's reply ''Toby and I are goin' to the market later on would you like to come, love?'' she asked. Sweeney's answer was flat and to the point ''No.''. Mrs. Lovett looked at him then thought of an idea.

''Maybe the judge might be there and you can interest 'im infor a shave?''she said persuasively, the demon barber glared at the window, smirked at the thought of the Judge dying, and thought about it. After a moment of thinking it over, he said ''When?'' ''In a few minutes so you better get ready'' Mrs. Lovett grinned and with that said she left.

As they walked through the market, Mrs. Lovett examined the food then a man came up to them. He was wearing a butler-like suit and had white hair and a gaunt face with black circles under his eyes. ''Madam? May I interest you to come and stay in my master's home for a week or two, I need someone to help my master to get away from his state of depression . He has been full of dread and I am very worried about him?'' he said in a sickly sweet voice.

Sweeney looked at the man and said ''why should she?'' Mrs. Lovett made an annoyed sound and unnoticably pushed her elbow into his ribs. She smirked when he yelped in pain.'' what's your name, Dearie?'' Mrs. Lovett asked ''Ramsley'' the man replied ''Ah well we'd be happy to go and cheer the man up. 'ow long did you say we would be there ?'' Mrs. Lovett asked ''two weeks'' Ramsley replied ''Oh, well where is it?'' '

'in New Orleans, Madam'' ''That's pretty far isn't it ''she said thoughtfully ''But what 'arm could it do. ''

'' Thank you, Madam, oh so very much I will sent a boat for you in the morning'' he said and walked off into the sea of busy Londoners.

''Why did you do that without my permission, Pet?'' Sweeney asked dangerously, as his hand landed on his razor, ''Well I think it will be nice to get out of London for a change and I've 'eard New Orleans is a beautiful place '' she said, ignoring the glare he shot her and getting some fruit from a nearby counter. ''Plus you might be able to give him a 'shave' in the future'' at the mention of that he smirked.

Mrs. Lovett didn't know how wrong she was.

Somewhere in Gracey manor a fair and aristocratic black-haired man wearing a blue-green outfit and a red tie was talking to the butler. ''Well, Ramsley is she coming?'' He said, hope clearly seen in his eyes. "Yes Master, she is. I hope alone though, not like the other one.'' He mumbled the last part to himself, the man raised an eyebrow.

''what was that, Ramsley?'' he asked. ''Oh nothing, sir.'' Ramsley replied.

The man smiled and said ''Thank you, Ramsley for finding her." Ramsley nodded, slinked back into the shadows and was gone, leaving the man to himself. "At long last" The man said "My dear Lillian will be coming home!'' He smiled and continued to daydream about the day that she would be here.

Little did he know that his hopes and daydreams of finally having a happily ever after might be crushed by a certain demon barber.

AN: I'm soooo sorry if this chapter was short and sorry if the summary isn't good(I'm new to this and I don't think I'm good at writing summaries. sorry), but please review.


	2. They're here!

DISCLAIMER; Sadly I do not own Sweeney Todd it belongs to Stephen Sondheim and Tim Burton neither do I own The Haunted Mansion it belongs to Walt Disney

Hey! Sorry I haven't updated in a long while! I got super busy with school and such. And Partyhard Drunkard, I've a quick question: what happened to your story 'Emmy in Wonderland'? I liked it.

Anyway, on with the story~

Mrs. Lovett smiled as she, Mr. Todd and Toby got off of the carriage.

"Dearie me, It's gorgeous." Mrs. Lovett exclaimed. She looked at the quaint mansion, awestruck.

Its walls were of ivory paint and there had to be at least 1000 rooms. The gate in which they had entered from was made of steel, which in London, only the rich could afford.

'_Now if only it was by the sea…' _Mrs. Lovett wondered. _"Wouldn't that be smashin'."_

Her reverie was broken when Sweeney tapped her shoulder, looking slightly annoyed.

"Did you hear me, Mrs. Lovett? Or were you too busy gawking at this old thing to notice?" The barber hissed.

Mrs. Lovett sighed wistfully then looked at her tenant. "Sorry, Mr. T." She apologized then felt a tug at her dress.

She looked down to see Toby looking at her with wide, excited eyes. "Are going in soon, mum? Are we?" he asked anxiously, shifting from one foot to the other.

Mrs. Lovett smiled encouragingly. "O' course, lad. What're we waitin' for?"

With that said, she and Toby trekked up the stairs, with Mr. Todd following behind, not looking very enthusiastic.

Mrs. Lovett smiled widely, a bit excited, though she couldn't fathom why.

Needless to say, she grabbed the brass door handle and dropped it down.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Mr. Todd flinch at the sound of the clank on the door.

A second later, the door opened with a creak and a flash of thunder erupted.

Mrs. Lovett blinked, oblivious, then said "Let's go in, shall we?" she asked and stepped upon the threshold.

As soon as she did the temperature immediately dropped, making the baker shiver.

"Cold, ain't it." She muttered, smiling crookedly.

Thunder crackled and Mrs. Lovett jumped as Ramsley appeared a few inches away from them.

Sweeney had flicked his razor and had held it up to Ramsley's face, yet the butler's face remained expressionless, making Mr. Todd narrow his eyes in irritation

"You brought…others." Ramsley stated hauntingly.

Mrs. Lovett looked a bit sheepish then said "Yes. I heard what you said about not bringing anyone else except for meself, but Toby didn't want to leave me side and Mr. T, well, Mr. T, can't run his business without me help."

Ramsley raised an eyebrow and said. "He is a _barber_, madam. I think that this..man is capable of doing things by himself."

Mrs. Lovett crossed her arms and said "'E can't even feed himself without me 'avin' to force it down 'is throat." She remarked, smirking.

Ramsley decided to let this remark pass.

"Come. It is time for you to meet the master. You shall meet him during dinner. It shall be ready soon. Feel free to wait here, please."

With that said, he was gone.

A.N: Any suggestions on what should happen? I'd really appreciate it. And don't forget to R and R~!


	3. ghostly views

Hi~ It's yours truly, Alex! Now Sweeney, *points dramatically at Sweeney.* do I own you and Mrs. Lovett?

Sweeney: no. *mumbles.* Thank god.

Me: What have I said about the mumbling, mumbler? Anyway, *smiles sweetly at Master Gracey* Master G, do I own you?

MG: Not that I can think of.

Me: exactly, because if I did own you, Eddie Murphy would never had been casted, the story would have been told the right way, and our fantastic Helena BC would have been in it! Now on with the story!

As Mrs. Lovett and the other's waited, some of the mansion's guests that had gotten wind of the new arrivals were whispering amongst themselves.

"Odd looking bloke, ain't he?" Ezra said to Phineus and Gus, pointing towards the demon barber.

"Wonder what she sees in him?" Phineus said back. "The boy seems to care about her though."

"Care, shmare." Ezra waved his hand carelessly back and forth. "All that matters is that Gracey's good and ready to make her his. "

"Let's hope this one works out. And if they all die, imagine what fun we could have torturing the skunk." Ezra grinned mischievously.

"It'd be nice to finally have another kid around this place. That way I won't be so bored all the time." Little Leota said, stroking her beheaded doll absent-mindedly.

"The poor dear, though, the man doesn't even seem to acknowledge her presence." Aunt Victoria observed.

"Then it just proves that your nephew's the better man." One of the ballroom women said to her.

The Aunt gave a small smile at her and nodded in thanks.

"We should do something for them. The lad and the lady, I mean. To make them feel welcomed." Emma chirped excitedly.

"Like bake them a cake. Without the poison though." She quickly added, noticing the look of horror in Aunt Victoria's features.

"Yeah, and give them a tour of the mansion." One of the other spirits suggested and pretty soon they were planning a welcome party for the guests, minus the odd man with the streak in his hair.

Yeah, sorry this was so short; I just wanted to post it. I've got school tomorrow (unfortunately.) so I may not update as quickly.

Oh and coming soon: Susie Husher: psychologist and the 1000 ghost in the mansion?'

I need help with the title but basically here's the summary: Susie Husher, a British psychologist who is hell-bent on helping her patients on their way to full sanity, finds herself in everyone's favorite haunted mansion curtsey of one of her patient's traumatic memories. When she finds out the truth of this old mansion, will this psychologist be able to get out in time? Or will she be number 1000 in this mansion. Read and find out!

I already have two chapters done but I need help with the title and pairings. It has Helena as Susie, by the way.


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